屯門的天空

在這個天空下

有不同的人，不同的故事

她，因為老公到大陸包二奶而尋死，但因為一句「幾十年夫妻」，還是會選擇原諒

她，自從十七歲畢業後都沒找到工作，身邊從來沒有朋友，八年以來就只有網上的世界

她，有個十三歲的兒子，但兒子卻經常嚷著不喜歡媽媽，什至報警要拉媽媽

她，小時候被家人虐打，長大後也被丈夫虐打

還有更多個她和他的故事……

營營役役，他們都只是在咬緊牙關過日子

曾幾何時只在電視或新聞內聽到的故事

類似的主人翁一個接一個的在我眼前出現

on call 後的早晨，天很藍

這是我只認識了一個月的天空

再辛苦，也有下班的時候

但在這天空下的他們，終點又在那裡？

為什麼為什麼為什麼為什麼呢?

這星期我的精力被榨得一乾二淨
可惜明天還要 CALL......

累。

My first MO call

完成了 MO 生涯的第一個 call, which is uneventful
一個人由晚上六時一直獨個留守醫院至第二早的九時
在一個偌大如花園的醫院內…
十五小時的孤寂
除了處理那嘔吐的病人和在凌晨收病人時有說話之外
餘下的時間都沒有跟誰說過話
有點難過…
我預備了一個 medical report,
看了「志明與春嬌」…
時間，好像過得特別慢
十二時未夠我便關燈準備睡覺
但外在的環境愈安靜，內心的不安定便愈放肆
人，一孤單，便會出亂子
所以一直以來，「孤單」都是我最大的死穴；它會使我不開心，所有理智都可以被它徹底破壞，然後做出各樣令自己詫異的事…
還好，昨晚的我，最後安然度過了這樣孤單的一夜；

星期六又再 call，我已經準備好「節目」：
Finish the discharge summary (for a patient admitted in 1995....)
找 paper, Read Case notes, 準備 presentation
Do an informative Review summary for my chronic cases
Organize and summarize my current patients
Revise, revise & revise......
maybe watch 1 movie if possible.

真的要趁星期六好好強迫自己一下完成以上的工作...

當然，不排除有很黑仔的可能性要不停工作…(touch wood! 千萬不好...)

Now please go back to the paper for CBT......

it is as funny as a joke.

Went for dragon boat, bump into a friend unexpectedly

Ad hoc went for dinner with uyl mates, again bump into another friend unexpectedly

and, they both talked about the same person.

LOL

Why these do not happen much earlier on?

Anyway

Its time to clarify for my own good. lol

今天去了撐龍舟! (仲有份坐埋鼓位)
NICE SUNDAY :D

一個

今晚去看 <孿到爆>
明明是講同性戀, 明明是笑到肚痛的

但我卻在劇中 MICHAEL 的經歷上看到自己的影子


...........

這麼多年了
好多事情都變了
但一樣沒變的
就是我依然是那一個很容易多愁善感很容易哭的女孩...

<一個>

曾聽過幾句情歌　給我多少寄望 

期待遇上一個　建築小小童話國 

世界不會停頓片刻　給我空間去面對結果 

狂熱地無奈地已犧牲了 

遺下我獨個學到太多

誰伴我　誰是我心魔 

誰令我　看清每一張臉　沒有非愛不可 

誰負我　誰為我更多

長路裡心結終解不了

共你走過都不錯

曾唱過幾句情歌　於快感中碰撞

平衡就算快將失去　都不算甚麼

試過幾次盲目探險　死蔭幽谷裡沒法翻身

臨崖勒馬如像醉酒醒了

遺下我獨個面對更多

開心過　沉默過

也犧牲過　結果．．．

仍記得幾句情歌　能為我雪中送火

一個尚算不錯

同樣愛哭

但現在要學懂替自己拭眼淚了..

不見了 Iphone 後，都沒有機會再玩 PIG RUSH 了

假如要再飛的話
Ready 了沒有?

Tiring Friday

又一個星期五
累累累

買了 Samsung GSII, 終於
又一個新電話
為什麼每個時段後都換來一個新電話?



Sometimes......I still doubt myself......

Mutism

Funny enough
The title of my last blog was " I just want to be mute"

Then, yesterday I got a new inpatient presented with complete Mutism.
She is not willing to talk, not even making a single sound
She just stares at me, changing her posture
Then, there is complete silence between us.

So ironic.

I just want to be mute.

Sigh
This world is really distorted.
And what I can do, as a small potato in this system
Have been so exhausted meeting again and again to the patient & relatives
I don't really know how to tackle with repeated not-quite-reasonable demand

I am very tired and exhausted everyday after work....and with the long travel distance.
Be honest...I have underestimated the workload here.
sighhhhhhhh

I am in the position of listening and understanding everyday
Who is there to listen and understand me then?


Plan mane
-CPS round in the morning
-CAC in the afternoon
-see chronic case x 1 if possible
-see acute female..x1-2; male x 1
-call msw
-call relatives

(seems a bit greedy....)

WHEN AM I FREE TO BUY SII?????

Monday blueee

Manage to finish the admission summary, see relatives x 2, discharge one patient, admit another patient

then it already is 1340 the next moment I can rest a bit

Have a quick lunch

then head to OPD again.

20 old cases. with one patient almost required F123 to admit (luckily finally willing to admit under vol form) (Sigh one more inpatient!). some further unsettled issues.

Luckily the new case defaulted today!!!!! The best news today. otherwise I'd have to finish OPD by 8pm again......

Plan mane:

1. see my inpatients.. acute.. chronic x 1 if possible

2. meet the relative again. -.-

3. case summary for CAC on wed!!

4. medical reportssssssss

and it is cck's birthday tomorrow..

and i want to get S2 for myself

I'm all on my own...

Workkkkkkkkkk

One more reason to dislike Monday:

Pm OPD with new case every Monday.....

Things to complete tomorrow:

1.  Admission summary...(Utmost importance)
2. See relatives x 2
3. Call relative (at least x 1)
4. See my new patient
5. Prepare case summary for CAC on wednesday
6. OPD, with new case, and old cases that I fail to handle well and arrange 1 week FU last Monday, and to update more info about the new patient seen last week..... Seeing a new case is definitely a stressful process. You gotta spend a lot of time to know his/her story well, yet in an effective and efficient way; then I need to report to my senior, discuss with her. Last Thursday was almost a miracle that I could finish the new case and left OPD at 630pm (cuz with a relatively easy case). 

I almost wanna die with this list

And there are still several medical reports waiting for me.

And I still have numerous things to revise

FIRE ON AND WORK HARD!!!!!

I think, I am slowly & gradually altered......

Keep my mind clear please.

或者我一年後睇返已經會呆哂....
人生第一個opd 由 2 pm 睇到 8 pm....
仲要去左尾段已經係加行油.......

真係睇到想嘔...

但完全刺激左想溫書既衝勁....可惜返到屋企睇左一陣書已經 11 點幾...........

做 MO 真係好辛苦呀!!!
但係我要加油!! 做一個識野既 MO !!! .V.!!!

Finally,
the
END.

FULL STOP.

Why cry...for a stone

Please tolerate me with this kindergarten-level writing.....I dont have any planning or beautiful vocab...but I just want to write.....

從前

有一隻很喜歡唱歌很喜歡吱吱叫的麻雀，牠飛過了不同的樹林後，又在停留在其中一片草地上。

當牠站在空曠的平原上時，忽然間有一顆石頭滾到牠的跟前；

無知的小鳥，以為石頭是來跟牠做朋友，雀躍萬分，毫不知道它根本是個死物；

小鳥每天都跟石頭唱歌，說話，又飛來飛去把不同的東西帶給它；可是，石頭依然動也不動；

麻雀最初以為石頭只是害羞而不敢反應，所以依然用盡努力逗石頭說話；

但日復日，石頭仍舊動也不動；

為什麼呢…小鳥感到納悶：明明是它自己走過來要跟我做朋友，為什麼當我把它當做好友後，它卻不瞅不睬呢？

單方面的付出，好難受…

一天，小鳥終於受不住，覺得是時候離開石頭；反正石頭都不會突然給牠任何反應；

可是當牠準備飛走的剎那，石頭上的草忽然流下了一滴水珠，滑過了石頭；

愚昧的麻雀以為那是石頭為牠流的淚，又再次，留了下來；

還暗自高興以為石頭對牠有不捨的感覺；

還以為，它就會慢慢地改變…

小鳥也許不知道，石頭，永遠就只是一塊石頭

無論牠對著它怎樣的哭笑怒罵，它依然只會繼續留守原地，

它的出現，只是一個巧合

直至下一次，又再被某個誰踢到下一隻小鳥的跟前去…

可憐的小鳥，就只會繼續為這片石頭而不高興。

Why cry...for a stone?

-----------------------------------Finished on 20110707 22:30

種種原因
淚腺又變得過份活躍…

別想太多........

忽然有點唏噓
有些事, 其實還著緊
但事實卻在慢慢變了很多

明明是快樂的一天
但最後我都是不能完全真心享受

我的笑靨去哪裡了?

超級黑
唔見左 iphone
部舊電腦又開極都開唔到, 入面 d 野都唔知點 retrieve 返
買左部新電腦
又要再買新電話
omfg
升職加人工份糧都要成個月先有糧出ga.............

今日成日個胃又唔舒服.........aiii.....

今年真係好黑仔……